10 comments pilot wives are tired of hearing/being asked

Anyone married to a pilot is used to a barrage of comments and/or questions regarding their partners career choice...here are some of the usual suspects we find ourselves trying to explain to people:

1.  Pilots make so much money: Um, no folks - this is not the case. Whilst there are some really well paying pilot jobs out there, there are also some pretty crummy paying ones....especially for guys just starting out. Do not simply assume because someone is a pilot that they are living in a multi-million dollar mansion, driving a porsche and holidaying at exclusive island resorts. There are plenty of pilots earning less than the likes of private school teachers.
2. Pilots get to live and work in the best locations:  There are some pilots (and their families) that are 'living the dream' in beautiful locations...once again these are in the minority and everyone in the industry is trying to get these jobs. On the other hand, there are plenty of guys based in crappy locations, flying crappy routes to crappy places.
3. Free tickets, FREE tickets, for everyone: Whilst I know some airlines offer a certain amount of 'free, full fare tickets', what is far more common is for them to offer some form of discounted ticket...which goes hand-in-hand with it not being a confirmed seat. This means that you are at risk of getting 'bumped off' a full of flight and having to wait for the next flight - and this happens....often. We know of pilots and/or their families sitting somewhere (expensive) for over 7 days due to over booked flights - not cool, at all.
4. Pilot schedules must mean they work so little and are so organised: Aviation companies send out schedules on a regular basis...it would seem because these schedules are forever changing. Do not expect your partner to be home on a particular day/date just because that was what last weeks schedule said, chances are - it will change. The sooner you can get your friends and family to understand this, the easier your life will be.
5. Airplane food: Whilst us mere mortals that fly economy class drool when we see the business/first class meals, even those get tiring after a while, especially when the menu stays the same for a long period of time. No matter how you package or present airplane food is, after all, airplane food.
6. Family time: This comes into play more so in certain countries, or on certain continents, where many pilots fly contract work i.e work away from home 6-12wks and are back home on leave for 2-4wks. This means pilots and their families get little time together, and for everyone involved - this is tough, really tough. So whilst some pilots may only be doing a few flights a month and bored out their skull the rest of the time, there are plenty who would happily donate a kidney to spend more time at home with loved ones.
7. 'What are you guys doing for Christmas/Easter/your birthday?': Well let me put this simply, remember that time you flew to*_________* on Christmas day? Well that means there was a flight crew working on Christmas day too. Aircraft fly 365 days a year - what are 'normal holidays' to most people stop being holidays to many pilots and their families. It becomes luck of the draw, or based on seniority as to who gets the good days off, so for many of us we can count the amount of Easters/Christmases etc we have had with our pilot partner, on one hand.
8. 'Why doesn't your husband apply to *______* airline/company?':  There is no 'general license' which gives a pilot leeway to fly any aircraft in any country in the world. Pilots are forever doing ratings for a new aircraft, renewals, crew resource management training, medicals, license conversions etc. This can get confusing when trying to explain to friends and family, but pilots are forever studying and learning. Moving onto a new aircraft, or flying in a new country is not as simple as it sounds.
9.  Crew house mansions: Referencing point one here, there are plenty of pilots who live in shared housing when starting out because its the cheapest and easiest thing to do. For pilots that fly contract jobs they most often live in crew houses.....I don't know about other places in the world but in Africa - mansion is not the word that comes to mind when you see where they live, the words that do come to mind are not appropriate to be written here...use your imagination!
10. 'So the pilots and air hosties thing..?': I still can't believe people actually ask this. I have never turned around to someone who has a husband high up the business ladder and said 'So, CEOs and their secretaries huh?'. Yes, pilots and flight crew do sometimes end up dating/married - often due to an understanding of one anothers work and lifestyle. Does this mean pilots and cabin crew are continuously racking up belt notches in the mile-high club...no - it doesn't.  People whose jobs require frequent travel, such as pilots and cabin crew have statistically higher divorce rates than 'home-bound' occupations...we don't need the general public reminding us of this.

Top Gun and aviator sunglasses

Top Gun - a movie that just about every person has seen, and most probably enjoyed. After all - what man wouldn't want to be Tom Cruise - flying a F-14, riding a Kawasaki Ninja, and of course - charming a gorgeous female astrophysicist. On the reverse - what woman would not want to be swept off her feet by aforementioned man?!
Some people however have managed to take this to a whole new level.....for example - I worked with a foreign flight crew in North West Africa. For something like a month, these two pilots would come back from a 7hr sortie and sit down to lunch - and Top Gun. The first three days it was bearable, by day twenty when everything started to have a Top Gun quote to go with it, it became a little much. I now read posts by young pilots throwing out these quotes and cringe every time...I'm sorry - I can't help it. I hope no doctors-to-be are quoting Greys Anatomy quotes to all who will listen.

Top Gun has done nothing to aid in the general publics perception of pilots as arrogant, speed loving, womanizing, aviator-wearing individuals who need a 'good woman' to 'tame' them. Run quick ladies - there are male pilots all over the globe in need of 'saving' - it doesn't matter if they are flying cargo in Alaska, scenic flights in Africa, or commercial trans-Atlantic flights. I'm not sure what is to be done with all the female pilots in aviation - Top Gun didn't cover that.

So it may come as a shock then that I am not sure that I know any pilots who sports Ray Ban aviators (or knock-offs)...I do however know a great deal of non-aviation people wearing them as an 'on trend' item! In fact, currently in Serbia there are so many people wearing aviators I find myself having to bite my tongue from going up to them and asking 'So, are you a pilot?'

I suppose there are worse things that could have become a fashion trend - at least we don't have people walking around wearing firemen helmets...that would have been hell of an uncomfortable, and pretty tough for women to pull off as sexy.


Anyway, I must go and feed our dog - he's called Maverick by the way...

Pilots.....the BROmances and WAGS

Pilots have bromances..not the typical male in his early twenties, chest-bumping, jager-bomb frenzy, 'I crashed my car' bromances (ok - maybe initially) - but more of the no matter what, no matter where, no matter when - 'I have your back' bromances.

You see pilots are a special breed. I have met a lot of people that are dedicated to their jobs, but I have yet to meet an accountant who crunches numbers all day, then rushes home to have a braai with other accountants and afterwards, to unwind, loads up a quick PS3 simulator game of 'Accounting wars' or "Start your own accounting firm". Pilots are what some may call obsessive about their chosen line of work - whether they care to admit it or not.

So it makes sense that along their career path they make friends with other pilots who go through the same training, the same crappy hour building job in some African bush hell-hole, the same struggle to get onto a bigger/heavier/better aircraft etc etc These guys work (live) together, drink together, braai together, frequent awful hole-in-the-wall night clubs in places after weeks of cabin fever together. These experiences bond people differently to the 'we went to university together' friendships. Some of the things that happen, or that one sees in Africa.... it's hard to explain to someone who has never been to the likes of DRC.

As careers progress, the special bromances remain as they move across the African continent and/or the world, get married (or not), have kids (or not). The wives and girlfriends of these pilots come to accept that these bromances exist and that their houses are always open to certain people. That if a particular individual calls needing help - they will get help from you and your family - it doesn't matter if you had prior arrangements or if it suits you or not....there is an unspoken agreement between husband and wife that these bromances are quintessentially family and we do anything for family.

Eventually for many girlfriends and/or wives, this aviation-family attitude rubs off. It is why one will often find pilots wives readily accepting 'new blood' into their circle when a member of the bromance meets 'a new chic'. There is an understanding of their boyfriends/husbands careers, their schedules, their training and the 'pilot lingo'. So when someone new arrives on the scene, who wants to cry on someones shoulder because her partner has gone back on tour, or because he failed his ATPL, or he didn't get the airline job because he falls short by 3hrs on the requirements....there really are not many people to talk to who will understand what on earth you are saying - bar other pilots WAGS. By the way - for some reason - partners of pilots seem to always know about aviation, in detail. Unlike people who for example may have a partner in engineering but has not one clue about what their partner actually does.

Friendships for those with partners in aviation can be tough - people often don't know how to class you...the friend who perpetually appears single at every event yet is not, the one who doesn't fit into the singles party scene but whose partner is never present for couples events. Readily available when their partner is away but who seems to disappear when their partner is home. You quickly become the Odd one out with a capital 'O'. Sometimes we are lucky enough to find special individuals who have nothing to do with aviation, or careers involving such strange set-ups - yet they understand...these people are true blessings but few and far between. It is therefore very necessary to take care of the relationships within the aviation-family - those who you do not need to explain anything to because they are in the same situation.

My husband has two very special bromances - both equally hazardous and incredible. Both now live in far off lands, one with a gorgeous family, the other - no doubt still using his French accent to charm the ladies. One we hear from sporadically (in true pilot fashion), and the other - well - he calls a little more often...and after he's done running up a long distance phone call I sometimes get to speak to his wife...a woman who will always inspire me - for her adventures in life, her mental prowess, her ability to raise a family in pretty much any country in the world without skipping a beat,  the list of reasons is endless really.

Maybe I struck gold - but I'm really grateful for my husbands pilot bromances - they are, in all honesty, family.

Happy Anniversary - Timbuktu to Fiji

So, today (in my husbands time zone) / tomorrow (in my time zone) - is our first wedding anniversary! It's a big one right? It is one of those 'we're still in the honeymoon phase - have a ridiculously romantic night' anniversaries?

Well I guess it's a good thing then that I am not overly romantic - because for us there will be no romantic dinner/picnic/movie night, there'll be no dirty weekend in a lavish hotel, no champagne and strawberries...because pilots - well, they miss everything, and I mean EVERYTHING.  

From weddings and funerals to birthdays and family events - if you live with a pilot the chances are they have attended roughly 10% of these events. Friends and family members eventually stop asking if you will both be attending and revert to 'it would be great if your husband could make it, but we won't count on it' when sending out any invitation.

To be honest I'm surprised my husband was there when we got married. I am pretty certain if there was a legal way to get married without the two people being present before the judge, we would have been married via Skype, or maybe even just a quick Whatsapp text message.

My husband and I were introduced to one another by a mutual friend - you guessed it - another pilot. He has one of the most successful relationships I have seen in aviation (largely due to his power house of a wife who takes everything in her stride - but we won't tell him that), so I should have known his match-making skills would be pretty spot on.  He clearly saw two complete nut cases and figured the only way to save any sane person from having to deal with either of them was to pair them off together...it worked!

After the initial introduction we did not really see much of one another until a few months later - when we would find ourselves working together and our relationship blossoming....in Timbuktu, Mali - not the most romantic place on earth I must add (it's pretty tough to come across as sexy or cute in a 45 degree sand pit).

Its now almost ten years later (it seems neither of us were focused enough to remember exactly when we met), and whilst much has changed - much has remained the same.

So on our first wedding anniversary I find myself sitting in Serbia (Eastern Europe - next to Bulgaria - NOT Siberia in Russia), whilst my husband sits on almost the exact opposite side of the world, in Nadi, Fiji. Since January of this year we have spent a whopping sum total of six weeks together when I went down to Fiji for the 'island experience'.

So this is the life of a pilots wife/husband/partner, amazing adventures and soul-destroying times apart. Along with the roses come the thorns. It is a journey that has seen us through some incredible countries and places that one would never visit on their 'bucket list holiday destination list'. Through it all there have been good times and bad, break ups and make ups, friends passing away and friends creating families. I have met pilots and their partners who have become family, even though our paths may not cross often. It is a life that few truly understand but that many easily pass judgement on. 

Are the hardships and heart ache worth it? Would I do it all again? I can honestly say -  absolutely!

OMG - I'm married to a pilot!!

My husband is a pilot....amazing what those few words manage to conjure up in the general publics imagination:

To women, it's most often the image of a hunky man dressed in uniform, flying a huge metal machine through the air at break neck speeds. Men with enough good looks, money and charisma that they are able to have a girlfriend (and apartment) in every "ooh, I wish I lived there" city in the world.

To men, it's most often the image of sitting in command of a huge chunk of flying metal, doing very little bar biding ones time between coffee services from a string of gorgeous looking air hostesses in  pencil skirts so tight the rest of us women wonder how they are able to walk straight.

Everyone is blogging now days - there are blogs by people who have moved country, blogs by people who have recently become single, blogs by new mothers, blogs on fashion and beauty tips...blogs, blogs, blogs - they are everywhere, covering every subject and with a with an overload of useful hints and tips. So if you are one those people - looking for a blog to give you advice on your new country, new baby, new marriage etc - this is the wrong blog.

To be blatantly honest - this is a blog created partly out of boredom, partly out of my horrific lack of communication to friends and family, and partly to try and educate people so that I can stop having to explain my 'bizarre lifestyle' to new individuals I meet, who assume my husband has the most glamorous, easy, well paid and fun career in the world! This is not a blog to slate aviation but rather to debunk some of the myths regarding the lives of those in the industry. So take your seats and prepare for take-off, it may be an interesting eye opener for many!